=)
Thursday, June 12, 2008 at 1:37 AM
current mood: down
simply just feel like crying..
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missL ask mi, if i dont intend to stay wif SIO y am i still clinching on to tis r/s..i duno hw to ans..
mayb bcox i dun1 watever happen 6yrs ago..to happen again..e hurt is unbearable..but m i doin e rite choice i duno..i seriously duno if clinching on to tis r/s for wat..is bcox i love him or bcox i m used to have him ard?
but there is times when we nv meet..i feel erm..nth just miss him but nth much nt as if miss till dying to c him..n recently..no i shld say since last yr..whenever i meet him i machiam use drag de..cox i m nt tt enthu/keen/excited to meet him..
whenever he told mi nxt week dun meet...I AM SO DAMN HAPPY FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS/WEEK..
but happy days dun last..as he will last min pop up meet..haix..i feel so much like telling him N O = NO..
but i m lack of courage (mrG mux b wondering OMG TIS KAILIN SAYING SHE LACK OF COURAGE, I TOT SHE IS 1 STUPID FIERCE WOMAN WHO IS ALWY WHACKING ME!!!!!!)
nt sure if lack of courage or lack of the mood to quarrel with him..
no meet = he anyhow think = quarrel..
or it is bcox staying @ hm will onli create conflict btw mi n my mom/dad/siblings tt is y i dun mind meeting him?
i rmb i told missD mayb i dun1 to feel regret tt is y i clinch on..but if he ask for a break out i will happily accept..
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or mayb wat i need is a key to unlock my feeling..
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i rmb watching 2nd last or last epi of Rhythm Of Life (变奏曲), there is tis scene tt lee ming shun went to the wishing pool to make a wish to turn back time so tt he can create a happy ending..at tt very very very moment..i sms him(SIO):
if i realli can turn back time, i dont wish to know u.
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dun ask mi y..it is my 1st tot..
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his replied was swt..but i wasnt touch @ all..
he did reply hours later(when i had fallen aslp) he said if realli can turn back time he still wan to knw mi..
my replied to him e nxt mrng was:
pls dun come n knw mi if u can turn back time..
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does tt mean tt he actually dun stand a place in my heart..or is it bcox i had been hurt too much till i have no more feeling anymore? is it bcox i dun love him? i myself nt sure..
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do i still love him?
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SO = Significant One/Other
SIO = SUPER IRRITATING OTHER = bF..
- 琳 -
