如果有一天时间能倒流..我希望我们还是会相遇,相认..不会相爱..因为我希望永远做你的好朋友..因为能一直陪伴着你..而不是情人..因为只要一分离..再也看不见你..听不到你的声音..
如果有一天我会离去..我希望把你不开心的时光一起带走..我希望你只记得快乐的日子..
如果有一天我真的要走..我会把你笑的样子牢牢记住..因为这就是我永远想看到的你..一个快快乐乐..天天开心的你..
如果…如果………
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having headache + stomache + slight breathing problem..i hate it when i m sick, cant go sch..is nt cant go but have to drag myself to sch so boring..n sch aint near mi.. =((
had been feeling quite stress recently, jux quitted my part time..now finding new part time..anyone got part time to intro mi..haha..
now 11:28am le..i wanna go prepare den go c doc le..i tik i dying soon.....
update later...
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she got her 2 babies today..i tel u DAMN NICE lo..
i pratically love the mp3 she bought..muahahahahaha..
i m gonna save money to buy 1!
and we had s11 chicken chop + fish n chip..
we both share share..SO NICE..
anyone wanna eat too? haha
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but e damn acca ppl had yet to refund mi..i tik i have to wait lo..saded..
and CREATIVE is having promo now...i wan buy mp3.......
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is it too late to set my dream?
hmmm..nvm..even it is too late i oso wan to set..LOLX
i wan to go many many places..mainly for SHOPPING AND FOOD..else limited places is for sight seeing..haha..
i wan to go..............................
1) Bangkok
2) Taiwan
3) Hong Kong
4) Japan
5) Korea
6) Paris
more to come..
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i wish..
i wish...
i wish....
i wish.....
i wish......
i wish.......
i wish........
i wish.........
i wish..........
i wish i wasnt brought to tis world 23yrs 5mths 4 days ago..it only bring mi sorrow..hurt..tears..
everyone faces bias-ness in the family but i guess i faces hatred..
since upper pri..i have to help read letter frm govt..fill up form..etc thing i duno (wat do u expect i m onli a pri sch kid) i got scolding thing like i m stupid y they wan to waste money for mi to study etc..i feel hurt..but i keep to myself..
when i grow older..thing is still e same..no matter hw much i had helped i was nv been praise nor given a thanks you..even when my result was gd but scolding..reason..she thinked i shld get higher marks.. *i m nt clever but among my 2 sis my result is alwy better*
when my sis barely meet the 60ish..she praise her for doing well..
at tt time i wonder..80ish got nth but 60ish got praise..i m lost..
at the age of 19..i was chase out of the hse for thing i had never done..my youngest sis stole my mom money @ e age of 12 not a big sum to adult but definitely a HUGE sum to kids..SGD600..
but my mom think i m e 1 who stole it..she caned mi slap mi chase mi out of the hse and even said wan to hand mi over to police..at tt very moment i feel like dying..cox i feel no love..
eventually my aunt came to my rescue..but thing dun end there..my mom go round telling ppl I STEAL FROM HER..
1 word *HURT*..
after weeks of staying out she cant b bother where m i..i can onli come home when my grandma came to SG to "save" me frm being homeless..my grandma stayed with mi till thing tense dwn...
8mths passed....came the shocking news..e truth was out..it wasnt mi..but my sis who took e money..BUT treatment was diff..she nv scold..beat..or slap her..she jux brush off saying it is not rite and if cant caught will go gers home..frm den on..tis incident wasnt bring up anymore........
but she had nv apologise to me for wat she had done to mi..
i knw i dun expect parents to apologise..but the trauma i go tru isnt small......
but thing dun seem to b better..
i try to brighten up my days telling myself tml is a brand new day..someday they will knw my gd n appreciate mi..i had been leading tis kind of life since young..
my sis(s) n bro now is 22, 17 & 11..
but i still need to do everything for them..wat ever shit form frm sch..watever shit thing..even govt form..application etc..all i need to fill..n if my hand writing isnt gd..i will get yet another round of scolding..
n recently tooo......
i
realise
i
can
no
longer
take
it........
my heart is dead..n i dun look forward to future anymore..
future is darkness..............................
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definitely very shock..
my bf say he cant trust mi find mi mysterious cox i too jing ming..
but well..he like to yan jiu feng shui n HIM HIMSELF TEL MI B4 LAO SHU IS VERY JING MING..like wtf rite..haix..nvm..
anyway..who dont wish to be depended by others? i wish i m depended on him too!! den i no need to b so jing ming or shld i say so "li hai"..him n my parents n my sibling all so depended on mi..any form ask mi fill..any application i had to read tru n fill..him anything he wan to buy cant locate i have to find..my jing ming n li hai is all WELL TRAINED BY THEM!
it is so wrong to b jin ming i guess..but it is so wrong to b stupid..so i tik i jux b retard..not say stupid BUT IDIOT..
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den..............
after a few hour of arguing..i hang up cox my mom call mi.......
i call him again..n he acted as if nt happen AGAIN..
i cant stand anymore..so i asked him y is it tt he can act till nth happen he jux say cox he cool dwn..ask him do he knw hw much he had hurt mi alrdy he reply with i m oso hurt..
damn..
i need to re-consider tis relationship..realli i need to reconsider..
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i m feeling so emo now..feeling so dwn..
i wan to walk in the rain..i wan to go east coast..
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somehow..i realise i need some freedom that he cant giv..somehow i realise i need some1 to dote on me but he cant giv..somehow i realise i m changing..somehow e 1 i miss is not him..
♥
had been thinking tis few days..hw much i miss him..hw much i luv him..shld i jux giv up..shld i continue..
e feeling i had for him no longer like last time..i used to look forward in meeting him but now i drag myself to meet him..i use to giv in whenever there is quarrel but now i fight back..i used to say I LOVE U n I MISS U often but now tis word jux couldnt come out..
tel mi wat shall i do..
we broke off once..n tis is e 2nd chance..if i giv up now..i m sure there is no more 3rd chance for mi..at time he will really show mi care n love which i reali can feel but tt is e RARE case..
♥
我已经失去方向。。被爱是幸福，爱人是痛苦。。我现在是个痛苦的人。。
因为一直都是我爱他比他爱我多。。但我累了。。真的累了。。我好希望有人愿意能爱我比我爱他多的。。我想要有被爱被疼的感觉。。
- 琳 -
AND OF COURSE TEST HER FUTURE CAMERA IXUS 90!!
i tel u PRETTY lo..i also want..*sOb* but i got Ixus 860 liao..some more no money..haix..
hope she faster get her Ixus 90...den we can have camwhoring session..lolx...
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Part 1
i gO+ tO nOe kOk[kOk siOng] n hiS frEn tRu 1 oF mY x, cHriS..iN e beGinNinG i dUn reaLi cHat wiF hiM onLi nOe hiM bY hiS niCk..FireBoy17..deN..1 daE mI n cHriS bRokE oFf lE..a+ t+ +iMe i waS vEry saD cOz stiLL liKe cHriS mA..deN wiLL saD saD oR cRy cRy lO[cRybaBy mA..kEke..] tT's wEn i n kOk sTaRt +O cHat lO..he'LL aCcOmpaNy +Ok cRapS..cHeeR mI uP wEn i m saD..cRaCk jOke +O maKe mI lUFf..+t tiMe 1 oF hiS frEn jA liKe mi..deN kOk n OthEr fRen pLayeD maTch maKer Lo..pRomOtinG jA..teLLin mI hW niCe hE iS aR..hW luCky i'LL b iF i sTeaD wiF hiM n sO oN lO..
caN sAiD aCtuaLi tT tiMe i aLrDy gOt feeLiN fOr kOk siOng liaO..bUt i veRy simPle minDeD..i +O+ cOz i tReaT hiM aS a gD frEn..cOz hE iS aLwy thEre fOr mi wEn i niD sOme1 +O +Ok tO mA..sO i jUz sHakE oFf e idEa tT i liKed hiM lO..deN feW mThs laTer..mI n jA gO sTeaD liaO..a+ 1sT oUr reLatiOnshiP wAs sMoOth saiLinG..bUt eVentuaLi diSatEr stiLL oCcuR..jA n mI sTaRt +O lOst tRust iN eaCh oThEr..wE sTarT +O haB qUarreLs..cOLd wAr nOw n deN..deN eRytiMe wEn mI n jA qUaRreL mI wiLL finD kOk cHat chAt n cOmPLaiN lO..deN kOk wiLL +Here liS+enIng +O mY cOmpLains..cHeerInG mI uP..oR giVinG mI oPiniOn oN wAt i cAn dO lO..vry niCe oF hiM hOr..kEke..aLwy tHere tO liSteN +o mI tiS oLd laDy lOr sO n cOmpLaiNs..
wHere eLse mI n jA reLatiOnsHip haD beEn oN n oFf tiLL mOst oF mY frEn iS siCk oF knOwinG oUr paTchiNg n breaKinG oFf..mY feeLinG fOr jA sTar+ tO faDe..nEw yR caMe..i wEnt baCk +O m'sIa fOr hoLidAes..aS tT +t tiMe i waS waiTinG fOr 'O' LeVeL reSuLt sO vEry frEe lO..caN sTay iN maLaysiA fOr lOng +imE mA..daEs paSseD..i sTaRteD +O miSs sinGapOre..i miSseD mY cOm[nO irC mA..lOlx..]..mY hP[caNt sMs..hAha..] deN 1 daE i reaLiSed aCtuaLi i m nT miSsinG mY cOm oR hP i m miSsin kOk..miSs +HoSe niTe oF chAttiNg iN irC..n sMs-inG eaCh O+hEr..+t'S wEn i nOe i haD faLLeN fOr hiM..aBt 1 mTh laTer i waS baCk iN sinGapOre..i nV +OLd hiM tT i liKed hiM..i reMaiN trEatiNg hiM liKe a nOrmaL gD fRen lO..
e dAe fOr oUr 'O's resULt caMe..i waS sO aNxiOus..i gOt mY resULt..mY resULt waS nT baD..bUt i faiLed maThs baDLy..waS abLe tO gEt iN2 poLy bUt caNt geT iN2 mY faV cOuRse..eLeCtrOniCs engiNeErinG..sO eVentUaLi i giB uP gOin poLy n chOosen eNgiNeErinG cOurSe iN itE..aS fOr kOk..hE tOok priVatE 'O' +oO bUt hiS resuLt waS "nT baD"..i meaN iT "nT baD"..wiF lOts oF a n b oN hiS resULt sLip..zZz..bUt iS aB meaNinG aBsenT..n eVentUaLi hE wenT +O aPply iTe wiF hiS 'N' leveL ceRt..wE bOth haD chOoseN sOmE oF e saMe cOurSe difF sCh bUt pLaCed diFferEntLy oN oUr aPPLica+iOn fOrm..wEn i gOt tO noE waT cOurSe n waT sCh wE bOth gEt iN i waS qUitE shOcKed..i kiP wOndErinG iZziT faTe oR iT's jUz qiaO hE..wE waS pOsteD +O e saMe iTe wiF e saMe cOurSe..bUt dunO wAt cLasS r wE iN..
1sT daE oF itE liFe aRriVe..gueSs waT..kOk n mI iS iN e sAme cLz..daEs gOes bY..kOk n mI waS gEtting cLosEr eaCh dAe..bY deN mi n jA haD aLrDy brOke oFf..eVeN +Ot aT t+ tiMe kOk iS nT mY sTeaD yEt bUt hE's wiLLinG +O senT mI hM oR aCcOmpaNy mI gO mY brOtheR sCh n brinG mY brOtHEr hM..1 daE..2daE..3daE..daEs paSseD..oUr lUv jOurnEy sTarT..iT sTarTeD oN e 22nD jULy 2002..hE's reaLi a niCe n caRinG bOyfreN..hE dOte oN hiS gaLfreN aLot..eVen iF hE wiLL gEt aGitaTed bY mI hE osO wiLL jUz kiP +O hiMselF n nV qUaRReL oR risEd hiS vOiCe aT mi..i stiLL rMb +t timE i waS wRkiN paRt tiMe aT a caKe sHop..sOmetimE i wOnt haB tO gO tO aN oUtlEt aT buKit tiMaH..eVen sO..hE iS wiLLinG tO maKe e eFfoRt tO traVeLLeD frM jaLan ba+U +O bUkiT tiMaH +O aCcomPanY mI wRk..[cOz tT oUtleT onLi haD 1 aSsistaNt..] n aFtEr wRk hE wiLL aCcompaNy mE hM lO..vEry sWeEt n caRinG oF hiM..bUt gD tiNs duN laSt 4eVa..oUr lUv jOurnEy cUm +O aN eNd oN 12tH sEptemBer 2002..
Part 2
aFtEr breaKinG uP i waS vEry uNwiLLinG +O lEt gO..i aSkeD hiM caN wE nT breaK bUt hE inSist oN breaKinG..i haD nO cHoiCe bUt tO aCcepT..tHeRe iS tiMes weN i tiK oF hiM teaRs jUz fLow dwN mY cHeEk..dUrinG e beGiNninG i uSe wRk +O mAke mYselF buSy sO tT i'Ll nT tiK oF hiM..aLmOst wRkin fOr eRydaE wiFoUt aNy reSt..i nOe iT a sTupiD idEa bUt i dOne iT aNywaY..i eVen tRy ++ hiDe mY sOrRow beHinD mY faKe smiLe n aCt cHeErfuL..sO tT i wOnt nT wOrriEd anY1..i tRy +O lEt gO bUt i caNt..nT knOwinG wAt +O dO i jUz liVe aS dAes gOeS bY..
hE nOe i stiLL liKe hiM bUt hE tiK iT impOsSibLe bTw e 2 oF uS..hE kiP aSKin mI +O giB uP cOz i m nT e kinD oF gEr hE iS lOokIn fOr..bUt +O mI i m wiLLinG +O cHaNge aS loNg aS hE waNt mI tO cHanGe..bUt hE haD nV teL mI waT hE waN mI tO chAngE..aFtEr mThs..tHeRe iS a gUy..sD hU liKed mI..kOk +Oo nOe e gUy liKe hiM..hE aSk mI y nT giB mYselF a cHanCe n sTeaD wiF e gUy..hE kiP teLLiN mI sD iS gD..hE gOt a briGht fUtuRe..hE sUit mi mOre..sLowLy i sTaRteD +O haTe mYselF..i haTe mysELf fOr lUvinG kOk sO mUch..i feeL sO reJeCteD bY kOk..1 daE..i gO steaD wiF sD..hOpPin tT i caN 4gT aBt kOk..
bUt aS tiMes paSseD..i fOunD oUt aCtuaLi i stiLL lUv kOk..evenTuaLi i enD mY reLatiOnshiP wiF sD..i reaLiSed cOz i lUv kOk..n i waN hiM +O b haPi..i +Ry +O 4gT aBt kOk..bUt wEn i nOe i caNt..tT's wEn i nOe hE's reaLi e oNe i lUv..i s+aRt +O trEaSuRe hiM..bUt eRytiN iS +Oo laTe..bUt oNe's aLwy leaRn +O tReaSuRe onLi wEn +Hey haD lOsT sOme1 pReciOuS..aiN'+ iT +Oo laTe..yeS..iT iS..bUt i m wiLLin +O hOLd oN..kOk nOe i sTiLL liKeD hiM..bUt hE saiD i haD huRT hIm enUfF..hE iS imPoSsibLe +O aCcepT mi aGaiN..hE onCe +OLd mi b4..iF u reaLi lUv mI u wOnt gO steaD wiF oThEr gUys..bUt +O mI iF u lUv mI y dUn u teL mi bUt yEt pUSh mi +O oThEr gUys..bUt aLL tiS iS bCoz gUys n gEr haD diFfereNt tiKin..waTevEr mOre..hE iS sOme1 wiF egO n pRidE..wAtevEr hE tiK iT riTe meaN riTe n hE wOnt b wRonG..
hE liKed +O tiK i liEd +O hiM..hE liKEd +O sAy hiS pRediCtioN oN mI iS cFm aCcuRatE..hE jUz caNt beLieVe waT i sAid..bUt i caNt bLamEd hIM fOr tiS cOz i lieD +O hiM b4 bA..oUr freNsHiP haD beEn oN n oFf..bUt reCenTLy iT mUch bEttEr lE..eRm..mAyb cOz hE gOin aRmy lE bA..oN 23rD jUne 2004 he wiLL b iN nS liaO..wiLL i cRy oN e eVe oF hiS enLisTmeNt dAe..wiLL i miSs hiM..oR wiLL hE miSs mI.. =X bUt i nOe i wiLL miSs tHoSe dAes wiF hiM..e qUarreLs wE haD..e swEeT meMorieS wE haD..caN i nT leT gO..haIz..
- 琳 -
我期待着哪天我的真正白马王子会出现。。
小时候的我多么希望快点长大。。
但是长大了的我多么想回到从前。。因为从前的我更快乐，开心。。
他是我的白马王子吗。。还是只是一个路过我人生的一格人。。我对他的爱。。好像慢慢的变少了。。渐渐的变淡了。。每当想他的时候。。我都有种想要自由的想法。。是我变了吗。。我想是。。我变得檀木虚荣。。我变得不懂得去爱。。因为我已经爱累了。。我对他的付出已经超出我能给的。。我现在要的不是回报。。而是他真正的爱。。但我感觉不到。。
如果我的人生真的有童话。。哪怕只是一秒。。我也够了。。
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