i wish..

i wish...

i wish....

i wish.....

i wish......

i wish.......

i wish........

i wish.........

i wish..........

i wish i wasnt brought to tis world 23yrs 5mths 4 days ago..it only bring mi sorrow..hurt..tears..
everyone faces bias-ness in the family but i guess i faces hatred..

since upper pri..i have to help read letter frm govt..fill up form..etc thing i duno (wat do u expect i m onli a pri sch kid) i got scolding thing like i m stupid y they wan to waste money for mi to study etc..i feel hurt..but i keep to myself..
when i grow older..thing is still e same..no matter hw much i had helped i was nv been praise nor given a thanks you..even when my result was gd but scolding..reason..she thinked i shld get higher marks.. *i m nt clever but among my 2 sis my result is alwy better*
when my sis barely meet the 60ish..she praise her for doing well..
at tt time i wonder..80ish got nth but 60ish got praise..i m lost..
at the age of 19..i was chase out of the hse for thing i had never done..my youngest sis stole my mom money @ e age of 12 not a big sum to adult but definitely a HUGE sum to kids..SGD600..
but my mom think i m e 1 who stole it..she caned mi slap mi chase mi out of the hse and even said wan to hand mi over to police..at tt very moment i feel like dying..cox i feel no love..
eventually my aunt came to my rescue..but thing dun end there..my mom go round telling ppl I STEAL FROM HER..

1 word *HURT*..

after weeks of staying out she cant b bother where m i..i can onli come home when my grandma came to SG to "save" me frm being homeless..my grandma stayed with mi till thing tense dwn...

8mths passed....came the shocking news..e truth was out..it wasnt mi..but my sis who took e money..BUT treatment was diff..she nv scold..beat..or slap her..she jux brush off saying it is not rite and if cant caught will go gers home..frm den on..tis incident wasnt bring up anymore........
but she had nv apologise to me for wat she had done to mi..
i knw i dun expect parents to apologise..but the trauma i go tru isnt small......

but thing dun seem to b better..

i try to brighten up my days telling myself tml is a brand new day..someday they will knw my gd n appreciate mi..i had been leading tis kind of life since young..

my sis(s) n bro now is 22, 17 & 11..

but i still need to do everything for them..wat ever shit form frm sch..watever shit thing..even govt form..application etc..all i need to fill..n if my hand writing isnt gd..i will get yet another round of scolding..

n recently tooo......

i

realise

i

can

no

longer

take

it........

my heart is dead..n i dun look forward to future anymore..

future is darkness..............................