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My past..
Friday, April 4, 2008 at 1:23 AM
My Past

Part 1

i gO+ tO nOe kOk[kOk siOng] n hiS frEn tRu 1 oF mY x, cHriS..iN e beGinNinG i dUn reaLi cHat wiF hiM onLi nOe hiM bY hiS niCk..FireBoy17..deN..1 daE mI n cHriS bRokE oFf lE..a+ t+ +iMe i waS vEry saD cOz stiLL liKe cHriS mA..deN wiLL saD saD oR cRy cRy lO[cRybaBy mA..kEke..] tT's wEn i n kOk sTaRt +O cHat lO..he'LL aCcOmpaNy +Ok cRapS..cHeeR mI uP wEn i m saD..cRaCk jOke +O maKe mI lUFf..+t tiMe 1 oF hiS frEn jA liKe mi..deN kOk n OthEr fRen pLayeD maTch maKer Lo..pRomOtinG jA..teLLin mI hW niCe hE iS aR..hW luCky i'LL b iF i sTeaD wiF hiM n sO oN lO..

caN sAiD aCtuaLi tT tiMe i aLrDy gOt feeLiN fOr kOk siOng liaO..bUt i veRy simPle minDeD..i +O+ cOz i tReaT hiM aS a gD frEn..cOz hE iS aLwy thEre fOr mi wEn i niD sOme1 +O +Ok tO mA..sO i jUz sHakE oFf e idEa tT i liKed hiM lO..deN feW mThs laTer..mI n jA gO sTeaD liaO..a+ 1sT oUr reLatiOnshiP wAs sMoOth saiLinG..bUt eVentuaLi diSatEr stiLL oCcuR..jA n mI sTaRt +O lOst tRust iN eaCh oThEr..wE sTarT +O haB qUarreLs..cOLd wAr nOw n deN..deN eRytiMe wEn mI n jA qUaRreL mI wiLL finD kOk cHat chAt n cOmPLaiN lO..deN kOk wiLL +Here liS+enIng +O mY cOmpLains..cHeerInG mI uP..oR giVinG mI oPiniOn oN wAt i cAn dO lO..vry niCe oF hiM hOr..kEke..aLwy tHere tO liSteN +o mI tiS oLd laDy lOr sO n cOmpLaiNs..

wHere eLse mI n jA reLatiOnsHip haD beEn oN n oFf tiLL mOst oF mY frEn iS siCk oF knOwinG oUr paTchiNg n breaKinG oFf..mY feeLinG fOr jA sTar+ tO faDe..nEw yR caMe..i wEnt baCk +O m'sIa fOr hoLidAes..aS tT +t tiMe i waS waiTinG fOr 'O' LeVeL reSuLt sO vEry frEe lO..caN sTay iN maLaysiA fOr lOng +imE mA..daEs paSseD..i sTaRteD +O miSs sinGapOre..i miSseD mY cOm[nO irC mA..lOlx..]..mY hP[caNt sMs..hAha..] deN 1 daE i reaLiSed aCtuaLi i m nT miSsinG mY cOm oR hP i m miSsin kOk..miSs +HoSe niTe oF chAttiNg iN irC..n sMs-inG eaCh O+hEr..+t'S wEn i nOe i haD faLLeN fOr hiM..aBt 1 mTh laTer i waS baCk iN sinGapOre..i nV +OLd hiM tT i liKed hiM..i reMaiN trEatiNg hiM liKe a nOrmaL gD fRen lO..

e dAe fOr oUr 'O's resULt caMe..i waS sO aNxiOus..i gOt mY resULt..mY resULt waS nT baD..bUt i faiLed maThs baDLy..waS abLe tO gEt iN2 poLy bUt caNt geT iN2 mY faV cOuRse..eLeCtrOniCs engiNeErinG..sO eVentUaLi i giB uP gOin poLy n chOosen eNgiNeErinG cOurSe iN itE..aS fOr kOk..hE tOok priVatE 'O' +oO bUt hiS resuLt waS "nT baD"..i meaN iT "nT baD"..wiF lOts oF a n b oN hiS resULt sLip..zZz..bUt iS aB meaNinG aBsenT..n eVentUaLi hE wenT +O aPply iTe wiF hiS 'N' leveL ceRt..wE bOth haD chOoseN sOmE oF e saMe cOurSe difF sCh bUt pLaCed diFferEntLy oN oUr aPPLica+iOn fOrm..wEn i gOt tO noE waT cOurSe n waT sCh wE bOth gEt iN i waS qUitE shOcKed..i kiP wOndErinG iZziT faTe oR iT's jUz qiaO hE..wE waS pOsteD +O e saMe iTe wiF e saMe cOurSe..bUt dunO wAt cLasS r wE iN..
1sT daE oF itE liFe aRriVe..gueSs waT..kOk n mI iS iN e sAme cLz..daEs gOes bY..kOk n mI waS gEtting cLosEr eaCh dAe..bY deN mi n jA haD aLrDy brOke oFf..eVeN +Ot aT t+ tiMe kOk iS nT mY sTeaD yEt bUt hE's wiLLinG +O senT mI hM oR aCcOmpaNy mI gO mY brOtheR sCh n brinG mY brOtHEr hM..1 daE..2daE..3daE..daEs paSseD..oUr lUv jOurnEy sTarT..iT sTarTeD oN e 22nD jULy 2002..hE's reaLi a niCe n caRinG bOyfreN..hE dOte oN hiS gaLfreN aLot..eVen iF hE wiLL gEt aGitaTed bY mI hE osO wiLL jUz kiP +O hiMselF n nV qUaRReL oR risEd hiS vOiCe aT mi..i stiLL rMb +t timE i waS wRkiN paRt tiMe aT a caKe sHop..sOmetimE i wOnt haB tO gO tO aN oUtlEt aT buKit tiMaH..eVen sO..hE iS wiLLinG tO maKe e eFfoRt tO traVeLLeD frM jaLan ba+U +O bUkiT tiMaH +O aCcomPanY mI wRk..[cOz tT oUtleT onLi haD 1 aSsistaNt..] n aFtEr wRk hE wiLL aCcompaNy mE hM lO..vEry sWeEt n caRinG oF hiM..bUt gD tiNs duN laSt 4eVa..oUr lUv jOurnEy cUm +O aN eNd oN 12tH sEptemBer 2002..

Part 2

aFtEr breaKinG uP i waS vEry uNwiLLinG +O lEt gO..i aSkeD hiM caN wE nT breaK bUt hE inSist oN breaKinG..i haD nO cHoiCe bUt tO aCcepT..tHeRe iS tiMes weN i tiK oF hiM teaRs jUz fLow dwN mY cHeEk..dUrinG e beGiNninG i uSe wRk +O mAke mYselF buSy sO tT i'Ll nT tiK oF hiM..aLmOst wRkin fOr eRydaE wiFoUt aNy reSt..i nOe iT a sTupiD idEa bUt i dOne iT aNywaY..i eVen tRy ++ hiDe mY sOrRow beHinD mY faKe smiLe n aCt cHeErfuL..sO tT i wOnt nT wOrriEd anY1..i tRy +O lEt gO bUt i caNt..nT knOwinG wAt +O dO i jUz liVe aS dAes gOeS bY..

hE nOe i stiLL liKe hiM bUt hE tiK iT impOsSibLe bTw e 2 oF uS..hE kiP aSKin mI +O giB uP cOz i m nT e kinD oF gEr hE iS lOokIn fOr..bUt +O mI i m wiLLinG +O cHaNge aS loNg aS hE waNt mI tO cHanGe..bUt hE haD nV teL mI waT hE waN mI tO chAngE..aFtEr mThs..tHeRe iS a gUy..sD hU liKed mI..kOk +Oo nOe e gUy liKe hiM..hE aSk mI y nT giB mYselF a cHanCe n sTeaD wiF e gUy..hE kiP teLLiN mI sD iS gD..hE gOt a briGht fUtuRe..hE sUit mi mOre..sLowLy i sTaRteD +O haTe mYselF..i haTe mysELf fOr lUvinG kOk sO mUch..i feeL sO reJeCteD bY kOk..1 daE..i gO steaD wiF sD..hOpPin tT i caN 4gT aBt kOk..
bUt aS tiMes paSseD..i fOunD oUt aCtuaLi i stiLL lUv kOk..evenTuaLi i enD mY reLatiOnshiP wiF sD..i reaLiSed cOz i lUv kOk..n i waN hiM +O b haPi..i +Ry +O 4gT aBt kOk..bUt wEn i nOe i caNt..tT's wEn i nOe hE's reaLi e oNe i lUv..i s+aRt +O trEaSuRe hiM..bUt eRytiN iS +Oo laTe..bUt oNe's aLwy leaRn +O tReaSuRe onLi wEn +Hey haD lOsT sOme1 pReciOuS..aiN'+ iT +Oo laTe..yeS..iT iS..bUt i m wiLLin +O hOLd oN..kOk nOe i sTiLL liKeD hiM..bUt hE saiD i haD huRT hIm enUfF..hE iS imPoSsibLe +O aCcepT mi aGaiN..hE onCe +OLd mi b4..iF u reaLi lUv mI u wOnt gO steaD wiF oThEr gUys..bUt +O mI iF u lUv mI y dUn u teL mi bUt yEt pUSh mi +O oThEr gUys..bUt aLL tiS iS bCoz gUys n gEr haD diFfereNt tiKin..waTevEr mOre..hE iS sOme1 wiF egO n pRidE..wAtevEr hE tiK iT riTe meaN riTe n hE wOnt b wRonG..
hE liKed +O tiK i liEd +O hiM..hE liKEd +O sAy hiS pRediCtioN oN mI iS cFm aCcuRatE..hE jUz caNt beLieVe waT i sAid..bUt i caNt bLamEd hIM fOr tiS cOz i lieD +O hiM b4 bA..oUr freNsHiP haD beEn oN n oFf..bUt reCenTLy iT mUch bEttEr lE..eRm..mAyb cOz hE gOin aRmy lE bA..oN 23rD jUne 2004 he wiLL b iN nS liaO..wiLL i cRy oN e eVe oF hiS enLisTmeNt dAe..wiLL i miSs hiM..oR wiLL hE miSs mI.. =X bUt i nOe i wiLL miSs tHoSe dAes wiF hiM..e qUarreLs wE haD..e swEeT meMorieS wE haD..caN i nT leT gO..haIz..


- 琳 -