bored..
Monday, January 14, 2008 at 1:06 PM
had been thinking for the past few months..was wondering should i continue this relationship or just let go.I can feel the love from him but well not as much as i expected or shld i say I HOPE TO HAVE?
had been thinking shld i just let go tis relationship and be single for a while b4 getting into another relationship or shld i jux forget abt relationship?
y thinking of giving up this relationship when both r still in love? bcox we had been tgt for 4yrs..and when i talk abt getting marry (well of cox not now as i myself not prepare yet..it is few yrs later..) but well..since tgt for 4yrs and he didnt even have the idea of marrying me and worst he even think i m not his type of wife.
in lost..can i change his thinking n eventually we both get marry? or shld i jux carry on dating him but dun put in any more love?
i once told him..if 1 day there is a ger that can change him i will leave..but he say his ego is too strong so no one can change him. so i guess..he is afterall still immature..yes 24 tis yr but well guess he is still immature..told him many times if u met some1 u realli love or u love her more den urself u will definitely willing to change for her no matter hw ego u r. but he think NO..
mayb talking to him is a waste of time.
i came to realised that i had been talking sense to him for so long and nth get into his ear. and he is still thinking abt hw 6yrs back i "betray" his feeling..nt exactly betray..but i still love him after break off..but he keep hurting me with his ignorant attitude and words..and when some1 told me he fall for a ger who is the same age as us..but done abortion b4. i finally decide i had to move on. reason. well i m selfish i guess........
when we r tgt HE alwy think i m too "open" too frenly to guys..i admit..but wat can i do when i grew up frm an all guys environment since young. So HE didnt like it and den quarrel often occur hence causing break off..after break off my buddy a guy was alwy there for mi.. no chemistry btw us but we jux hit off well both of us each had some1 we love.
so HE hurt mi with words. saying i m bitch etc. and loose ger..it felt hurt deep inside but i had to show a strong face in front of everybody.
and when i heard he fall for some1 who had done abortion b4 and also ran awy frm home b4 I HURT EVEN MORE..bcox we did speak abt these gers..he tik these ger is pitiful..a guy make her pregnant den make her go for abortion. she even ran awy frm home bcox parents dun like her staying out late.
well if tis is pitiful den i guess I M NT THAT BITCHY..i dun stay over at my buddy hse..we do go out but we came hm early no staying out late...and i dont run away frm home and i dont "giv" to anybody. BUT in his eyes i m bitch else tt ger aint.
i decided to move on. there is a guy after me. i decided to giv myself n him a chance. we were tgt for mths but i realised i still love HIM..i decide to let go n nt hurt any1 else as i knw e hurt myself.
after breaking i didnt mention to HIM..i carry on my life as usual the happy go lucky me. buddy was so heartpain to see me like this i cry infront of him onli..he wanna kill HIM if he can. me n my buddy is those brotherly love n not bgr love. i still contact with some of his young fren as 1 of the ger is quite close with me. they knw my stituation and they oso know hw overboard he is to tik tt the ger is much better den me even tot she done alot of things tt is more serious den i do. they knw i still love HIM..but i make them promise me nt to say out abt my ended relationship n oso nt to tel him i still love HIM.
but mths later..some1 eventually cant stand the way HE treat me and "betray" me by telling him i still love him and also break off with another guy since mths ago or shld i say few week after into the relationship.
but to HIM HE still think tis is betraying him.
but eventually we still end up tgt bcox i nv giv up on him. i try my way to treat him gd like normally hw i use to treat him..eventually he fall for me again (not only after tt ger ran with other boys. haha kidding when tt ger stead with some1 else tt is going after her.)
frm den on we r tgt but he still tik of the betraying accident..tt make mi feel so sad.
haix..last time i was thinking 1 day my dream will come true..but now i had to double think..so i jux let go or hang on for him to change for me?
- 琳 -
